Selfish

I am having a hard time writing this post. Let's just start with that OK?

For a long time now, and I mean long..like years here people..I have been jealous of other people.
It seems everyone around me drives a Beamer, or a Lexus, or some other massively expensive car.
In "normal" neighborhoods, houses are being bought up left and right, torn down, and gargantuan monstrosities are being built in there place.
Woman who are old enough to be my great-grandmother have faces that look like onions, and breasts that look like cantaloupes. Now that I think of it...the men do to.
In my town, it is all about appearances. It is all about the toy's. It is all about who has the most stuff.

And I can't help but be taken up by all that.
Here I am. Driving a VW Bug (which I love), trying to go to school (not right now..no way can I afford it even if the government says I can), and living in a shoe box because rent is ridiculous and you can't buy a house for less then $400,000.00 (and that is a fixer upper!)
And I work in a job where I am reliant on the afore-mentioned people to pay my bills (tips). Funny how so many of those people get real tight in the wallet when it comes to a tip...hmm.

So yeah, for the past few years..I have been jealous, envious, resentful of "the Joneses". It's been ugly.

I have been ugly.

And I have been blind.

With knitting, I have done some charity stuff. I have donated a few dollars here, a few chemo caps there..but I never really gave a thought as to where it was actually going...

Until now.

I don't know if anyone who reads this knows about Dulaan. It is a charity that sends clothing (and other stuff) to Mongolia. I can't even do justice explaining it, so I am not going to even try. You should really check this out and read more about it.

In a nutshell:
Mongolia is Effin freezing. There is no government. Many children are homeless. Most people do not have warm clothing. It's pretty ugly any way you look at it.

But what set this charity apart for me.

Pictures. The pictures Ryan posted on her blog of these people, these children.. it hit me in the gut.
I have been so self-absorbed.

Here I sit with a roof over my head and a full stomach.
I have electricity, clean water, and warmth.
I have a closet full of clothes, a kitchen stocked with food. I have reliable transportation. I have a steady job that pays the bills..barely..but it does still pay the bills. :)
And I have entertainment. TV. Music. The Internet. Books. And yarn..did I mention the yarn?

Why is it, with all that I have...I want more?

This little sweater you see here, it is the first of 5 items I have committed to send to Mongolia for the Dulaan project.

It may not look like much, but it is the most amazing thing I have ever made.

While I was knitting this, all I could think about was the child who will be wearing it someday. A child I will never meet. I will never know there name. But this sweater will keep them warm. It will allow them to go to school. Who knows, it may save their life.

I was crying when I finished seaming this sweater up. I never want to forget the lesson I have learned from all of this. A lesson in humility.

I have so much. I am blessed beyond measure. And I am Thankful.