Thursday, July 09, 2009

Busy..Stress..and man am I hot!

I am starting to wonder if I am ever going to get caught up with this blog. I have so many projects finished or almost finished that I have yet to post about..and more that I am working on and want to share..but the blog has become my last priority as of late.

So I am going to take this post and just let it all fly. Forget organization and being coherent, I am just going to get it all out.

First the whole pregger thing:
I am now almost 35 weeks. I am huge, I am hot, I am sore, I am tired. My breasts each have their own zip code. I realize I never understood heartburn until now. And yet, I am thankful for every minute. I know that all too soon this will be over and I will miss it.
We have been busy, our weekends are always full. We were in Idaho for the 4Th of July, this weekend is the baby shower, next weekend we are spending the whole 2 days in baby classes, and the following weekend we are moving.
That's right, you heard me, MOVING! I am happy and excited about having a much bigger place for the three of us. We will finally have a dishwasher, and storage closets, heck we will even have our own laundry room! But most important, I am ecstatic the baby will have her own room. But I think moving at 37 weeks pregnant is cutting it a little too close for comfort. Adam keeps reassuring me that he has everything under control and it will all be fine, but there is just so much to do. And I loathe packing.
As if all that was not enough, I think the fetal specialists I am seeing are sadistic. Earlier in the pregnancy they told me the baby was not big enough..this led me to sobbing on the floor at the local library. After talking with friends, Adam's mom, and especially my mother, I felt better. And now I am told all the measurements are perfect, and she is over 5 pounds. Great news right?
But no, now there is another issue. Now I am told that there is an "abundance" of amniotic fluid. I guess normal levels are between 5 and 25 Cm's. At the previous ultrasound we had 15 cm, but at the last one the tech measured 27 cm and the specialist 30 cm. She is swallowing, she has kidneys, and her intestines look fine. (One of the concerns is that the baby is not ingesting and processing the fluid.) I am told not to worry at this point. The biggest concerns is that I will be bigger and more uncomfortable (who cares, as long as she is safe?), and that even though she is head down right now..she could go into a breech position and I may need a C-section. (Again, I don't care, as long as she is safe and healthy.)
But telling me not to worry? Bullshit.
I came right home got on the Internet and looked up what all this could mean. Pretty scary stuff. Congenital abnormalities? Stillbirth?
And yes, I know I am freaking out. Adam says he is going to ask the Dr.s not to tell me anything anymore, only him. He can't stand seeing me so upset and worried. I am very thankful that he is calm and rational about all of this. And I am feeling better today then yesterday.
But damn if I wasn't up all night thinking about it and today thanking God every time I feel her move.
You know what I hate more then packing? Not having any control over this.

And now I am going to go read or knit or solve world hunger. Anything to get my mind off of this. Heck, maybe I will even pack a couple of boxes.

Oh yeah, I was going to post a hodge-podge of FO's here, but I am just not feeling it right now. Oh well, maybe next time.

1 comment:

KSD said...

I can feel your pain on the big and hot and heartburny and uncomfortable. I carried both mine in summer, and gained 40+ pounds with each.

So sorry you're stressed, though. Deep cleansing breaths, for you and for her.